so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
