the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
