Moan for me like Helen Keller
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
