But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
