so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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