you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
