I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
