his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
