I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The power of my boobs compel you
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
