so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
