and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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