He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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