you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
