what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
