Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
