That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
