Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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