First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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