good thing vaginas are great cup holders
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
