These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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