i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
