the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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