I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
