Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
