Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
