My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
