I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
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