We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
