Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
