I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
