We're facebook friends in real life
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
