Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
