Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
