he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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