So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
