a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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