so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize