highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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