you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
