But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
