She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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