U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
