we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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