I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
