so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
