Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
