We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
