I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
