I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
