Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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